What bemused you today?

[Hinfrance]

The saying 'worse than useless', was, I always thought, quite apocryphal. It may however, be applied to our cat with some justification.

Mice have started to attack my Corvette again. This is the car that the cat sits on most of the time, just to annoy me (it does). He has not only failed to catch the little rodents nibbling away at my pride and joy, but as I am not allowed to poison him, and cannot put traps down because he is so stupid he would injure himself on them for certain, I can't catch or kill the little b*st*rds either.

So he really is worse than useless, being the only impediment to the solution. I can guarantee that there will be no more pointless felines in our house after the buzzards get this one.

I think I'll build an owl house, and see if I can get one of the local screech owls to take up residence.

[jinky]

You know you`d miss him really if he left your lives H 

[Andrew]

The saying 'worse than useless', was, I always thought, quite apocryphal. It may however, be applied to our cat with some justification.

Mice have started to attack my Corvette again. This is the car that the cat sits on most of the time, just to annoy me (it does). He has not only failed to catch the little rodents nibbling away at my pride and joy, but as I am not allowed to poison him, and cannot put traps down because he is so stupid he would injure himself on them for certain, I can't catch or kill the little b*st*rds either.

So he really is worse than useless, being the only impediment to the solution. I can guarantee that there will be no more pointless felines in our house after the buzzards get this one.

I think I'll build an owl house, and see if I can get one of the local screech owls to take up residence.

My daughter has just come by a Jack Russel pup you could borrow if you were a bit closer. I can gaurantee 100% success 

He was let in the garden whilst her chickens were out stretching their legs - and before you could say "Jack Russel" he had beheaded and disembowled the first one and was about to do the same to the second, but before my daughter could finish saying "No" he spotted much more interesting pray in the form of a rat and disposed of that instead.

He now has to be kept well away from the chickens but i think he has cured any rat problem 

The 2 cats are ok - because he can't climb onto 6ft fence panels where they like to live 

[Graham]

The saying 'worse than useless', was, I always thought, quite apocryphal. It may however, be applied to our cat with some justification.

Mice have started to attack my Corvette again. This is the car that the cat sits on most of the time, just to annoy me (it does). He has not only failed to catch the little rodents nibbling away at my pride and joy, but as I am not allowed to poison him, and cannot put traps down because he is so stupid he would injure himself on them for certain, I can't catch or kill the little b*st*rds either.

So he really is worse than useless, being the only impediment to the solution. I can guarantee that there will be no more pointless felines in our house after the buzzards get this one.

I think I'll build an owl house, and see if I can get one of the local screech owls to take up residence.

The 2 cats are ok - because he can't climb onto 6ft fence panels where they like to live 

      Yet!  

[ABERS]

Whilst sitting stewarding our exhibition, awaiting the arrival of the next busload of visitors  ,
I thumbed through an old copy of DCM and found out, according to an article inside, that I could become an ace B+W photographer over the course of a weekend if I followed the 'ace' tips and secrets used by the pro's. What a boon these magazines are to the art of photography and what mugs are those that believe what they read in them.

[jinky]

Shame you hadn`t got that magazine earlier Abers. Could have saved yourself years of practice! 

[spinner]

Whilst sitting stewarding our exhibition, awaiting the arrival of the next busload of visitors  ,
I thumbed through an old copy of DCM and found out, according to an article inside, that I could become an ace B+W photographer over the course of a weekend if I followed the 'ace' tips and secrets used by the pro's. What a boon these magazines are to the art of photography and what mugs are those that believe what they read in them.

AND, if you missed the article in this month's addition of DCM, wait, next month it will be in one of the other mags. Almost word for word. 

[Andrew]

Now, I must stress I'm not trying to be racist or anything other form of bigot - but this did make me smile.

Friday evening, I was just approaching Liverpool St station to catch my train home, when I was accosted by a cockney looking lad saying "Ere Guv - do you speak English?"
"Umm, yes" i replied.
"Fank christ for that" he said "I'm trying to find out how to get to some where by foot as there are no buses 'oday on that route. Do you know ow many people I've tried to ask only to 'ave them all look at me like I was a foriegner. ME, a bloody foriegner in me own country, in me own bleeding capital? To be 'onest though Guv, was startin' to feel like one."
"Can you direct me to so and so place (I forget where he wanted, but I gathered he was from Canning Town)"
"Erm - No, Sorry. I'm from Suffolk!" 

[donoreo]

Hmmmm it wasn't Dick Van Dyke was it? 

[Jediboy]

This bemuses (and annoys!) me every day;

Why do so many drivers cross the white line when driving around blind bends.
Most days oncoming do this and I can't understand why?

[Oldboy]

This bemuses (and annoys!) me every day;

Why do so many drivers cross the white line when driving around blind bends.
Most days oncoming do this and I can't understand why?

So they can scare the sh*t out of you! 

[Jediboy]

This bemuses (and annoys!) me every day;

Why do so many drivers cross the white line when driving around blind bends.
Most days oncoming do this and I can't understand why?

So they can scare the sh*t out of you! 

It works sometimes!

[Markulous]

This bemuses (and annoys!) me every day;

Why do so many drivers cross the white line when driving around blind bends.
Most days oncoming do this and I can't understand why?

Was slightly surprised by a police car on a 'shout' well over onto our side of the double white line on a blind bend and relatively narrow road, a couple of days ago! But we were in Yorkshire!

[Reinardina]

A neighbour received a call from his daughter who is on holiday in France. She had her wallet stolen, with all her cards.
When he finished the call, he said: "it's not the end of the world. She'll learn from this, and be more careful in future."

[jinky]

A neighbour received a call from his daughter who is on holiday in France. She had her wallet stolen, with all her cards.
When he finished the call, he said: "it's not the end of the world. She'll learn from this, and be more careful in future."

Why did that bemuse you R? healthy survivalist reaction. Assuming she wasn`t hurt and maybe could have learned not to put herself at risk in future if any of her actions had contributed to her unfortunate ordeal.