What bemused you today?

[Soodge]

Thanks Graham - I'm not actually new to the site. It's just been a very long time since I've posted!! I was something of a regular on the old DCM forum but work etc. yada yada yada!

[Mick]

Signatures of certain members of this forum!! (you know who you are!!!!)

dunno what you mean. 

[ABERS]

I'm just wondering what the Surrey Constabulary will comprise when it's put out to private tender?

Will it be manned by all those 'security' people that have been around clamping cars, patrolling shopping centres or those promoted from the rank of Traffic Warden. I wonder what level of competence and commitment will be required of the operatives, will they need to understand that they serve the public not aggravate them, will they be required to have more than a couple of brain cells? For you can be sure the companies that employ them will be looking to pay as little as possible, it could be an answer to the illegal immigrant problem. Employ them and then the police will know where they all are.

Buy shares in the companies that will be tendering for the contracts, apparently they could be worth up to £3.5 billion over seven years, I'm sure there will be many MP's already on the phone to their brokers.

[Beaux Reflets]

I'm just wondering what the Surrey Constabulary will comprise when it's put out to private tender?

Will it be manned by all those 'security' people that have been around clamping cars, patrolling shopping centres or those promoted from the rank of Traffic Warden. I wonder what level of competence and commitment will be required of the operatives, will they need to understand that they serve the public not aggravate them, will they be required to have more than a couple of brain cells? For you can be sure the companies that employ them will be looking to pay as little as possible, it could be an answer to the illegal immigrant problem. Employ them and then the police will know where they all are.

Buy shares in the companies that will be tendering for the contracts, apparently they could be worth up to £3.5 billion over seven years, I'm sure there will be many MP's already on the phone to their brokers.

Almost Laughable, if it wasn't such a sad way for the country to go! - More jokers in the deck
I am so glad I left good old Blighty when I did.

[Hinfrance]

I think you underestimate the politicos Alan, they will already own the tendering companies and be pretty sure who will be getting the contracts.

[Oldboy]

The Darwin Awards announcement and this was number four. 

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

[Jonathan]

The Darwin Awards announcement and this was number four. 

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

It's like 1997 all over again.......

http://www.snopes.com/medical/asylum/crazybus.asp

[skellum]

Looking through the Photography Section on e.bay I came across this  http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Photo-My-Car-Cd-/280839428491?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&hash=item416355998b#ht_500wt_1413

[Alfonso_Frisk]

Looking through the Photography Section on e.bay I came across this  http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Photo-My-Car-Cd-/280839428491?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&hash=item416355998b#ht_500wt_1413

8 sold as well, (shakes head and tuts)

[Oldboy]

Looking through the Photography Section on e.bay I came across this  http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Photo-My-Car-Cd-/280839428491?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&hash=item416355998b#ht_500wt_1413

8 sold as well, (shakes head and tuts)

[michaelb104]

Looking through the Photography Section on e.bay I came across this  http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Photo-My-Car-Cd-/280839428491?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&hash=item416355998b#ht_500wt_1413

8 sold as well, (shakes head and tuts)

A fool and his/her money are soon parted 

[Hinfrance]

I discovered this morning that cats, well our cat at least, cannot see me if I stand still. Result.

[Oldboy]

I discovered this morning that cats, well our cat at least, cannot see me if I stand still. Result.

It's not so much that it can't see you, more a case of ignoring you. 

[Hinfrance]

Now that's where you're wrong - he wanted to be let in through the patio doors and was franticly looking all around the room for some sappy human to open the door.

Maybe it's because I was standing in front of the stone fireplace wearing a similar coloured top . .

[Graham]

Now that's where you're wrong - he wanted to be let in through the patio doors and was franticly looking all around the room for some sappy human to open the door.

Maybe it's because I was standing in front of the stone fireplace wearing a similar coloured top . .

Ah no, that's where your wrong. If it was a sunny day and you have glass patio doors, he would only be able to see his own reflection, the swimming pool and the vinyard beyond.
                          Graham.